Merry X-mas! – The “I Love You During Sex” Opener
Here’s an opener that my wingman Packer and I came up with on the fly one night and turned into a solid opener. Usually the best openers come from when you and your buddies are discussing something to do with girls/sex/dating/relationships/etc. There should actually just be a rule in a book that anytime anyone you know cant figure something out to do with those topics, it should immediately become the opener for the night. Not only will it help you practice being spontaneous and not rely solely on canned material, but the opener will feel a lot more genuine because you really were just talking about it and actually needed a female opinion.
PUA: Guys, settle an argument… The “I love you” during sex – should it count or not?
Girls: [most will say no, some will say yes]
From here it’s probably best to snip and stack into a different thread (see below), but here’s a root with some DHV spikes you can use in case someone asks you why you’re asking, if you were the one who said it, etc.
PUA: [root] Ok so this just happened to my buddy the other day… his girlfriend said it while they were fooling around… and he’s just like [pretend to thrust a few times, then grin] THANKS. [get really animated] And… she…. LOST IT… literally kicked him off of her, like an angry ninja… and then threw him out of his own place. He was just damn lucky he had time to grab his pants!
So I asked a girlfriend of mine at dinner… and she said it only doesn’t count if you put “fucking” in front of it… as in [pretend to be a girl in ecstasy] “OH YES BABY I FUCKING LOVE YOU!” but anything else is fair game. What do you think about that?
There actually was no girlfriend at dinner. In fact, the “I fucking love you” bit of the root was the response from a set when we were field-testing the opener and it just seemed to work when I brought it up in the next set, so I kept it.
There were many great threads to launch into from this one. Here are the most common invisible threads though:
They say it shouldn’t count, or ask why he didn’t just say it back:
Well that’s what I said. To me it’s more of a “heat of the moment” thing. But he didn’t want to say it back because they’ve only been seeing each other a few weeks and he didn’t want to lead her on… but of course she got really upset. Have you ever dropped the L-bomb in bed?
Someone says that it counts: “Really? So if you dropped the L-bomb… while you were fucking some guy… and he didn’t say it back… you would just be like [pretend to be a bitchy valley-girl] “GET… THE FUCK…. OFF ME. What if it was reversed, and the guy said it first?”
Most of the time, all the girls in the set will all go off on the topic excitedly at once, each offering their opinion both to you and each other. Take back control of the conversation by interrupting with a new (but related) thread:
“Wow this is better than Sex and the City… which I was forced to watch against my will, by the way… I have a girlfriend who goes on these drunken rants about how Sex and the City is the ultimate expression of the “sexual hardships of the modern woman” and that every man should watch it… is this true or is she crazy and just trying to trick me into watching the damn show with her?
Can I Have Your Number? – MadTV Skit VA Phone Game Toolkit Update Now available